Things I've learned since becoming a wife and mother

1. M&M's will melt and slide right out of a child's nose, no need to extract them.

2. ravioli stains will not come out of clothes no matter what.

3. no matter how sure I am of what my husband is hungry for that's not it.

4. kids can make tears on command.

5. when you have no kids and you say I will never do that when I have my own kids.. keep it to yourself because you will, just wait.

6. antibacterial wipes should be kept in the car, in your purse, in the house, in the backpack and anywhere else because rota virus lurks everywhere. Wipe down all public grocery carts, highchairs and anywhere else your child can touch.

7. Even Santa Claus can pass rota virus to your child.... and yes a week in the hospital around Christmas is not fun.

8. You can not depend on hospital staff to take care of your child like you would.

9. Husbands are funny creatures they transform instantaneously when their daughters are born.

10. Not matter how manly a man my husband is he can still have a moment or two of being a girly girl when his baby girl asks him too.

11. My husband wants to feel like "the" provider and it's much better to let him feel that way instead of saying it's an equal thing.

12. Marriage is not 50/50 it's more like 110/110.

13. I can not compete with football, hunting or fishing.

14. Children hear everything even when you think they aren't listening.

15. Children repeat everything you don't want them to, at the worst possible time.

16. My husband has a really soft heart he just protects it well with being "macho".

17. My husband tries his very best and when I accuse him of not trying it really hurts him.

18. There are many times my husband does stuff that he hates just because he thinks I want him too.

19. You don't marry just your husband you marry his family too.

20. I can sleep through snoring... I just need to fall asleep before it starts.

21. I can shake my husband while he's sleeping and tell him to roll over and he will... and he won' t wake up or even remember it.

22. Men can have nightmares.

23. Don't brag your child never wet the bed, because after years of being trained they can and will wet the bed.

24. Mothers do have the magical power to look into their children's eyes and tell if they have been up to no good.

25. My husband is good at ideas, but the planning and little details.... not so good.

26. My husband is becoming more like me and I am becoming more like him... and that's a good thing.

27. If I let my husband be him he lets me be me and that's a good thing.

28. As much as I love my husband we do need our alone time and that's not an insult to either one of us.

29. When your pregnant you can get your husband to paint your toe nails.

30. When your pregnant you can get your husband to do almost anything.

31. My husband may not be any braver than I am but he will never let me know that for sure and when he's there I feel braver.

32. You child may skip a stage like the terrible twos but even at age 6 they will go back and master that stage.

33. I've thought I've loved things before but until I got married and had I child those other loves were just crushes.

34. Every day I learn something new and that's never going to stop.

35. Even after working and being exhausted there is always some reserved energy for your child.

36. You can sleep (maybe not well) but can sleep with a child's foot in your ribs, elbow in your ear and their drool on your pillow and it doesn't bother quite as much as you thought it would.

37. No matter how angry you are at your child when they get puppy dog eyes and tell you they love you. You just can't stay that mad anymore.

38. If your scared of needle like I am it's even more scary watching your child get a shot.

39. You really do forget just how painful childbirth was.. you remember it hurt bad but you know you'd do it again.

40. It never gets old to hear I love you from your husband even when it's to end a phone call.

41. You thought doing homework was bad when you had it... it's worse to get your kids to do their homework... and their homework is so much harder than yours ever was even in kindergarten.

42. Children can reach things even when you put them up... and they seem to naturally want to be hair dressers... scissors and hair are a dangerous combination in the hands of a child.

43. No matter how much my daughter protests about being tickled too much she loves it and will ask you to do it some more even after you've stopped.

I'm sure there are more things I've learned but these are just a "few" off the top of my head... anyone care to add more cause I'd love to get a heads up before I have to learn by experience.